Grief is not something that goes away, but rather is something that you get used to.  As those of us who have experienced the loss of a spouse know, the loss is a devastating experience, and the pain is proportional to the closeness of the relationship.

In my relationship with Susan, my wife and sweetheart for 20 years, we were partners in nearly everything.  Consequently, when she passed away, I was consumed by my grief.  It seemed as though parts of me were missing, and I had absolutely no interest in anything.  I would wake up in the morning and say to myself "What is the &!^*%$ point?" and could find no answer.

I was lucky, though, to have it together enough to know that I needed help dealing with this grief.  I participated in one particular grief group where all the members became bonded and now get together (long after the official group sessions are over) every other week to try to continue the healing process.  It is a wonderful group of people.  They are men and women who understand, who have, like myself, been robbed of the love of their lives.

In addition, my friends, family and business associates have stayed close and been enormously supportive.

With all that support, I began to move in the direction of healing.  I started to see a bit of light on the horizon.  I looked in the mirror and said to myself one day, "Wait a minute! I am not the one who has died.  I am not the one whose problems are all solved.  I have to go on.   I have to make a life.".

I would be lying if I told you it was all better.  It will never be all better.  A future without my Susan is a future diminished, lacking in depth and color.  But it is for me to make that future as rich and colorful as I possibly can.  But the healing process, the process of "getting used to it" will continue. There will be moments of joy, fun and laughter. There will also be moments of longing, sadness and a strong sense of loss.

But is that not the human condition?