What Still Remains

     A very dear friend of mine invited me to accompany her to a concert of the Irish musical group, the Chieftans the other night. The concert was amazing, and being about as Irish as they come, I found myself thinking to myself that music is one of the major things that has sustained me through my period of grieving.  Music is so intrinsic to the the culture of Ireland that it is thought of as "blood memory".  Like the wonderful Shawn Colvin song says " And if there were no music, I would not get through". And that, I think, is how I feel as well. There have been many times in the last few years that the only thing that separated me from the thin edge of despair was a beautiful piece of music.

     And thinking about that led me to thinking about some of the other things that have kept me going during a time when I did not necessarily want to keep going at all. Something as simple as a well written book, short story, poem, or even a nicely executed turn of a phrase can bring joy at the right moment.

     And so can mother nature.  I recently had the opportunity to visit my stepson and his wife in his home on the island of Kauai in Hawaii.  In addition, my two most long-term (I have been reminded not to say 'oldest') friends came with me and I have not been so relaxed in perhaps four years. And just sitting and listening to the pounding surf of mother Pacific brought a sense of peace.

    And finally, there are my wonderful friends and family.  The company, the conversation, the assurance that somebody gives a crap whether I show up or not, is immense.  Make no mistake, I still feel my loss deeply, miss my beautiful Susan every single minute of every single day with a sharp edge that seems often never to be dulled and I still exist in utter solitude more often than I would care to. But in that situation more than any other, I think we owe it to ourselves to look for what compensations life can provide. And there are many if you are open to them. As I have said many times to people: turn away no kindness, be open to everything. It may not take the pain away, but it very well may make it hurt less.

     And so I was visited by my poetry muse this week, along the lines of this discussion, and here is the result. Cheers, everyone.

Celebrate

There is much in life in which I can take joy.

The music remains, and still I can feel.

All its colors and shapes; its words and tone

It touches my heart with hope that is real.

Written words of beauty, they still abound

Those words on the page can make me smile

Or cry or laugh; so rich in thought, in style

That take me out of myself for a while.

And the sound of the surf on a Pacific beach

Takes me away to a place of peace

The sounds and smells of the mother sea

Allow me many a moment of surcease.

And friends and family still rally round

Helping me ever to see what is real

Showing me laughter, love and a path

To a place where I can once again feel.

And though my love has been taken away

Leaving a hole so deep wide and black

Much in this life is decent and good

To help me forget what it is that I lack.

MPC:03-08-2016